Fat Vampires - Collected Demos 2004 to 2008

by John Dog

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John Dog writes: "Fat Vampires is a collection of demos I've recorded over the years indicated. As it covers a period where I was first learning to write and record for myself, the sound quality may vary from track to track - as may the level of earnestness. It was made with a Zoom effects pedal/multi-track handheld recorder, Garageband on a MacBook, a Sennheiser vocal mic, an Art valve pre-amp, an M-Audio keyboard controller, and Carmen the Ibanez semi-acoustic guitar."


released November 11, 2010

All songs written by Raymond Butler and performed by John Dog, except where indicated.



all rights reserved


John Dog London, UK

John Dog is a singer and songwriter from Galway, Ireland who somehow wound up based in London, England. A true believer in the popular song, his own are often wordy, arguably tuneful, occasionally funny, but - the John Dog Guarantee - always short.

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Track Name: Three Guys Looking At A Car
Three guys looking at a car stopped at a traffic light
On a corner of Kingsland Rd
A tiny rocket for larger pockets than yours

The first guy barely conceals disgust;
"That kind of phallic display is just sad and that's all
It doesn't make me feel small.
Oh, why should it make me...
Why does it make me feel small?"


The next guy says: "That's the car for me,
Or at least the man that I'm going to be
When the world knows my name
I'll live beyond shame
And I'll drop you a line from the good life
Or maybe I won't."


The last guy, he was dreaming of
Someone with whom he just fell in love
So he didn't really see the thing
He bought some milk and began to sing
To himself as he was wandering on his way home

Three guys looking at a car
Track Name: The Right To Know
She fell down in Leicester Square
You knew she'd fall, so you were there
You knew she'd do it to herself
So you were there, but not to help
Yeah, you were there, but not to help

She is dismayed, we have the right to know
She is afraid, we have the right to know
So she has shamed her family name
She has been laid so low
And we have the right to know

I hope, though I should not
That you are captured, that you are caught
In that uncompromising glare
That is your gift, your wretched flair
That is your gift, your wasted flair

Oh yes I pray, although I doubt
That one fine day your luck runs out
And all the malice you send forth
Returns and stands outside your door
Returns and stands outside your door

Track Name: The House Of Love
What rock through yonder window breaks?
Who's the figure shuffling away?
Now she knows the kids made no mistake
When they saw a shadow in the garden that same day

Well he's fairly sure he used to live in there
But there's less and less these days he's certain of
And he's losing more than merely time and hair
Hanging round outside the house of love

He says: "I should be in there - I'm a man after all!"
Then a car comes up the drive
And sends him up and over the garden wall

The table laid, she pours a glass of wine
And cups it in between her oven glove
Now, which of all the boys she left behind
Could be hanging round outside the house of love

But into her reverie comes tumbling in
A young and hungry family with all it's loving and demanding

So it's laughter now that chases him down the street
And it seems to say "what were you thinking of?"
For cowards try, but only face defeat
When they try to break into the house of love

So, don't try to break into the house of love
Track Name: Somebody Else's Christmas
I received a Christmas card this morning
With a photo of a father and a mother and child
A brand new family, a nervous, beaming pride
So you're somewhere in somebody else's Christmas
When last year you were out here running wild

We danced along the river on that awful tonic wine
You did some ballerina moves you learned when you were nine
I've still got the grainy video, I kept it on my phone,
A laughing, pirouetting girl,
Twirling in the snow

I always knew there were a few who waited
I knew I'd only have you for a limited time
Until some gentleman would swoop out of the sky
And take you for somebody else's Christmas
You were never really meant to be in mine

Now you're somewhere in somebody else's Christmas
So I guess that you won't hear me say "Goodbye"

Bye, bye baby
Track Name: Sinead
The taxicab is moving through the busy street
As the twilight's beginning to fade
Home again and Jesus knows who I may meet
I may even meet Sinead

There was something in her touch I thought I'd never feel
Or is that a trick my memory played?
Am I thinking of a woman or a vague ideal?
Would I really like to see Sinead?

For I don't have any hopes that I am holding out
I've learned something in the years gone by
And anyway there wouldn't be so much to talk about
Except for all the times we made each other cry

Cos it always seemed to end up in some desperate fuss
With all kinds of accusations made
Oh I know there never was a hope in hell for us
There's no reason I should see Sinead
There's no good reason I should see Sinead

The taxicab is moving through the busy streets
And all of my goodbyes are made
Except for one I guess I'll never really complete
Maybe next time I may see Sinead
Track Name: Shadow Of Blue
You said:
"There's no mercy shown, there's no reason or rhyme"
As the barmaid passed you by again
"We're all alone, no great big eye in the sky"
And I'm afraid you're going to cry again
So I waste the few words I can find
On someone who's already made up their mind

If I wasn't there, maybe I wouldn't believe
Oh, it surely was an awful day
The neighbours stared with some bizarre kind of glee
Til the ambulance had finally pulled away
But, Jesus it just wasn't right
That it had to come back again the same night

No-one would blame you for thinking
The sky was falling on you
It's just sometimes when you're drinking
I see that Shadow of Blue is a friend to you

Now I'm a friend
I'm no saint, I'm no shrink
But I fear that's how you're using me
So you talk to me
And I talk back to the drink
Until you're past the point where you can see
That a coward will cling to his fears
And a drunkard regurgitates all his own tears

I'm sorry, but I have to go
Though it's something I don't want to do
But you can call me you know
When you let that Shadow of Blue pass over you
Track Name: Pretty Little Thing
You beast, you monster
If you could only see yourself
You're like some drunk gorilla hurling insults vile and loud
You temperamental fool - I haven't done anything
How can you be so cruel?
I'm just a pretty little thing

Get a grip! It was just coffee
That's different from a drink, you know
I barely even liked him, and we split up weeks ago!
You're such a drama queen - I haven't done anything
How can you be so mean?
I'm just a pretty little thing

I saw your friend today as I skipped through the city
I blushed beneath his gaze.
Hey babes, does he think I'm pretty?

So go, just leave then, you disgust me anyway
And there's a hundred guys that I could have if I want to
I don't know why I called - I haven't done anything
How can it be my fault
When I'm just a pretty little thing?
Track Name: I Dream Of Love
Tonight the bus is empty
Tonight the streets are too
Tonight this town of plenty
Has done all there is to do
The sun will soon come rising
But when push comes to shove
I'd rather it remain in hiding
Cos tonight, I dream of love

Tomorrow there'll be all these suitors
So flush of face and thick of hair
Who'll flood the streets, waving their resumes
All qualified beyond compare
Tomorrow there'll be all these things to do
Becoming things I shouldn't've
So now, before I've found and lost you
Yes, tonight, I dream of love

You can say "Maybe tomorrow..."
As long as there are stars above
So til the dawn, all brash and hollow
Yes, tonight, I dream of love
Track Name: The Day That Love Didn't Go Wrong
Oh, I was waiting for you
To let me down and make me blue
But something happened when you came along
I took you in my arms
There were no explosions, no alarms
The day that love didn't go wrong

Oh I don't know who's to blame, now
For disasters of the past
But like a paper aeroplane, now
They flew badly and burned fast
So I hope that you'll forgive me
As I peer out through my hands
Cos any minute a piano or a cartoon safe will land

So when I managed that day
To say those words I can never say
I thought I'd look up and you'd be gone
But you spoke them back to me
Each little word from one to three
The day that love didn't go wrong
Track Name: The River Corrib
Right where the city meets the country
Out where its mostly sky
A sunny Friday turned to twilight
We bought a bottle you and I
And as we walked towards the river
Where we could still hear passing cars
We tried again to see the future
But we could only see so far

If I recall you were in mourning
That Jenny Burke had turned you down
Her final words to you still burning;
"Maybe I'll see you around"
But soon enough we both were laughing
"I bet we're when we're old men,"
Yeah, two mangy drunks beside the river
What are we going to do til then?

Schools out for summer and forever
Our childhood dream came true
We sat there envying the river
It never wondered what to do
I tried to tell you about Jenny
Cos I was drunk enough by then
I often wonder how you're doing
Cos you never spoke to me again